Day 4: Writing Challenge

Today I noticed how sluggish I feel when I am overwhelmed.

If you know anything about me, you know that I am not typically a mentally organized person — I am a dreamer. My head is up in the clouds, conjuring up the next moment of excitement and hope for the future. I do not work very well under pressure, and my interests are constantly changing. This then leads to overwhelming burnout.

Though, I would say burnout looks different each time it happens, it’s still burnout. I never seem to handle it very well. It’s one of those things where I either go into manic work mode where each second of every day is filled to the brim with assignments, tasks and doing everything correctly OR I shut down completely.

I am in a moment of shut down. I don’t want to do anything except sing angsty songs about love and heartbreak, paint pictures, move my body, and stare at the ceiling while I contemplate how I got to this point in my life. Times like these make me question sanity. They also push me to think about what the people around me would be doing if they wanted to be truly happy.

I can’t help to think about the joys that others may hold in moments that seemingly slip through fingertips. Moments so soft, so quiet that they seem so mundane. What if… in those moments, they were truly happy and that is why the world seems so simple. I think people think simplicity is bad. Think it is not extravagant or worthy of the front page, but maybe that is what we need. Maybe that is what I need.

After stuffing my life chock full of things what does it look like to let go? What does it look like to get up and move? What does it look like to stop crawling on the floor, gasping for air, and just for a moment, soar? That’s what I keep asking myself, and I may not know the answer, but what I do know is I need to give simplicity a try.